The way I think about this without going insane isn't "developer environment must be exactly the same as production environment" because like you said, you'll never do it — there's too many things you can't replicate locally.

So I flip it around — production should work exactly like the development environments. If there's a a difference between the two that matters we update production to match. You want to talk to other services by a well-known container name instead of an env var we pass? Sure, whatever we can do that.