My problem with this "intolerance-is-okay-against-the-intolerant" thing is I'm lumped in with some extremist politics because of my religion. I don't feel at all treated as an individual (or even treated fairly) by either the left or the right. Some people who identify as the same religion have been homophobic. Since I was of voting age, I have never been against legalizing gay marriage, or treating homosexuals differently in the law at all. But I get flak for my religion from the tolerant left. They stereotype me every bit as much as the right stereotypes Islam. But they sure think they're being tolerant, by supposedly shunning intolerance.
You say that "some people who identify as the same religion [as me] have been homophobic" but I wonder if that's not minimizing the truth. If you're part of an opt-in demographic that's known for negative characteristic X, even if you yourself don't exhibit that characteristic, you're going to receive some transitive association -- and it's at least somewhat warranted because your participation is voluntary.
It's only known for that, because of a few high-profile examples. It's like saying that Muslims should just expect some transitive association with terror groups. I mean, they choose to still be Muslim, right?
One reason why it is difficult for me to tell is that I personally know a lot of people who say the same thing, i.e. that they are in favor of gay rights, but then they donate thousands of dollars a year to an extremely powerful and wealthy religious corporation that consistently preaches against homosexuality, drives gay teenagers to suicide, and puts their financial and political weight toward preventing gay rights in multiple states.
