I'm sure at some level the standard science and advice still applies but it's truly as those mechanisms aren't likely missing in our brains, but it's truly remarkable how the developmental delays change your brain such that things really are different for you and it's not just a matter of "trying harder" or "applying yourself".
I was absolutely stunned at the profound impact it had on my life once I was able to connect the dots together. Equally stunned at the drastic improvements I've been able to make without following the standard advice but by following what works specifically for ADHD e.g externalize information, externalize decision making etc.
> Getting diagnosed this year changed my life too.
This is awesome!
> following what works specifically for ADHD e.g externalize information, externalize decision making etc.
I bet everyone would love to hear a little more context around what this is, and how it impacted you, if you have the energy to share. (Me most of all!)
Don't leave it up to yourself to decide what to do and when. Find a way to put the environment in control.
Pre-diagnosis I would try this and it wouldn't work that well or it would work for a short time then after the novelty wore off it'd stop working. Things like set an alarm/reminder for throwing out the rubbish. But then eventually you ignore it and swipe it away or you're dealing with something urgent that day etc.
Getting diagnosed allowed me to commit my being 100% to that strategy. I reexamined it and found that it works reliably if you're able to layer systems several layers deep, so that they reinforce one another and act as failsafes.
Alarmy plus the barcode mission has been an absolute revelation in my household. I'm now able to throw out the trash, do the washing, use a calendar and mark things off on my to-do list.
I finally became able to use a calendar as I have a whiteboard in my kitchen that I put a barcode on that alarmy makes me scan once at night. That kicks off an hour dedicated to maintenance tasks. It starts with a habit stack of basic self maintenance tasks one of which is "check the calendar for the entire week".
Things like that aye. The difference is huge. I'm getting healthier physically, and my marriage has improved a lot as I'm not constantly getting yelled at for letting my wife down or putting too much of the housework/parenting on her.
I'm sure at some level the standard science and advice still applies but it's truly as those mechanisms aren't likely missing in our brains, but it's truly remarkable how the developmental delays change your brain such that things really are different for you and it's not just a matter of "trying harder" or "applying yourself".
I was absolutely stunned at the profound impact it had on my life once I was able to connect the dots together. Equally stunned at the drastic improvements I've been able to make without following the standard advice but by following what works specifically for ADHD e.g externalize information, externalize decision making etc.