My aunt passed from cancer a few years ago but it seems like it was just yesterday. She did chemo for a long time and other treatments and was absolutely miserable. When she finally decided to "stop fighting" many in the family were horrified or even angry, but I get it. I would much rather go out comfortable and early than live a little longer in misery. Quality over quantity.
My father died of liver cancer, and even with hospice it was a horrid, painful, death.
It was 16 plus years ago, and I can’t get his suffering out of my mind.
I didn’t even like (I loved him though) my father, but know one should go through what he did. My sister was lowering his dose of medication because she wanted him to spend time with her kids. In all honestly, I believe she wanted him awake, and miserable, so she could get his estate together. Meaning—she wanted more?
The whole process was just awful. His death completely destroyed a very fragile family.
When he first went into the hospital he was basically given the bad news. He had a huge liver tumor. His stomach was greatly distended. That didn’t stop doctors coming in and palpating the mass. I think they were using my father’s condition to learn what a liver tumor felt like? Multiple people were palpating the mass, even after the scans? I finally said it’s hurting him?
He got his death sentence. We left the hospital. A few weeks later a Dr. told him he would operate on him. We went to the appointment. The doctor gave this sanctimonious speech about drinking. My father was obviously very sick. My father said his drinking days were over. I felt the lecture from this doctor was completely unnecessary. My dad left the appointment happy with hope. A week and a half later he got a call from the doctor stating he couldn’t do the surgery. My dad had a Cadillac medical plan, but the doctor said he couldn’t do the surgery.
All I can add is California passed a Death with Dignity bill. When it’s my time I will use it.
My belief is that we will forever be a backward race until we decide that our ultimate goal as a society should be to ensure as much as possible that every single person be able to pass peacefully, without suffering or abuse (accidents and other sudden deaths notwithstanding, since not all such things could be prevented). I believe external factors have much more of an effect on the in-the-moment experience of death than anyone realizes (many people place that squarely in the realm of religion, which I find a shame, as it prevents people properly talking about death because they see such discussions as challenges on their religious belief).
