I have run an infosec consultancy for the last 8 years with a couple partners. You got a lot of good advice already, but I’ll throw in my two points:
1. You need a hobby outside of business. Something you look forward to at a lot that is intrinsically rewarding. Physical in nature is a plus for me. BJJ is my hobby and it’s great.
2. Stoicism. The dichotomy of control specifically is powerful. Sort your life into buckets of what you can control and what you can’t. Acknowledge your limits. Can you really work productively and deeply even 60 or 70 hours a week?
Honestly, find a therapist. Someone you can lay out your mental goals with and be held accountable. You will need to explore this and find out what’s at the root of the overwork. What’s truly important to you? How can you get there healthy and sustainable.
I think the hobby recommendation is a good one. When I was in a similar strait, I found rock climbing took me completely out of my headspace. If you’ve got access to a good rock climbing gym, I highly recommend it.
Stoicism is a tricky concept to internalize without first dealing with the underlying emotional responses.
Learning about something and knowing it's a better way feels good in the short term, but the risk for someone stuck in some deep emotional traumas like OP described is similar to telling an alcoholic to stop drinking.
The modern approach is for a therapist to get you to use CBT, which has a lot of roots in stoic philosophy. I backed into it over time… it’s powerful, but I could see how it can make things worse too. It’s something that definitely takes time to understand and integrate. I use the pieces that make sense. Especially the dichotomy of control (hence my recommendation). It’s simple enough to help sort out life problems and focus on what can be impacted. When it all clicks though, it can make life decisions effortless (in my experience). Not for everyone though :)
1. You need a hobby outside of business. Something you look forward to at a lot that is intrinsically rewarding. Physical in nature is a plus for me. BJJ is my hobby and it’s great.
2. Stoicism. The dichotomy of control specifically is powerful. Sort your life into buckets of what you can control and what you can’t. Acknowledge your limits. Can you really work productively and deeply even 60 or 70 hours a week?
Honestly, find a therapist. Someone you can lay out your mental goals with and be held accountable. You will need to explore this and find out what’s at the root of the overwork. What’s truly important to you? How can you get there healthy and sustainable.