I am in a similar situation to mattowen_uk. Venlafaxine has been the best for me and I was eventually able to work through the side effects. Communication with your partner is key and if I find I can't reach orgasm, I can pay more attention to her. In some ways, it has been a very good thing, allowing me to be open and honest in the bedroom and out.

I too am older, so I totally understand how sexual side effects could be brutal for someone younger and in the active dating scene. If this is you, please know you are not alone. Depression is a literal killer. With a bit of work tuning the amount and type of medication, things will get better.