It would be great if there was more research on on “love” and it wasn’t left to silly Hollywood stories to define it. I’m happy that therapy is normalized and that people (both single and couples) get professional help. But it would be great if therapy was common, and silly notions of finding the “perfect person” didn’t have so much power over so many people.
The Hollywood portrait of love has done a lot of damage to young people the world over. Believing things like "love at first sight" or that it's healthy to "do anything to get the person you want", "never give up", for example. Or that there's always the "one" person who you're destined to find, and if you don't it's somehow a failure of yours.
Incredibly frustrating beliefs that I suffered myself in my youth. Just hope young people today can see love for what it is: chemicals in the brain, mostly instinctive. Most of what makes it work is unconscious, too... your smell (not your freaking perfume, but your natural smell) may disgust, or arouse a potential partner, for example... same with things you have zero control over, like the shape of your chin or ears, the length of your legs, how symmetrical your face is, the way you walk and talk (you can change that, maybe, but not easy)... It's cruel, but no, if the other person doesn't "like" you, don't waste your time and health trying to make them fall for you - they just won't. Just like you can't control who you yourself "like", it just happens (and it's unfortunate that almost everyone seems to "like" the same few attractive people around... if you're not one of them, understand that as soon as possible to avoid being hurt! And try to be happy with other non-perfect people you can find that also understand that).
That, and the parent, spot on comments. Hollywood is a disease for romance.
I do wonder for example, how general is something like "dating"? Did people everywhere always used to go to dates? Was that the mainstream "approved" way to fall in love always? Everywhere? What else is out there? Are most westerners missing out because of the Hollywood stuff? And not only in real life, but also in the arts?
Things like body weight matter a lot more than tiny things. A girl can go from being rejected by the same guy to having him follow her every whim just by stoping being fat (real story a friend told me about her first crush).
hollywood didn’t invent those narratives, only portrayed what people already romanticized (otherwise, what, are they pushing a love-at-first-site agenda?)
hollywood 'dramatized' them .. they exaggerated them into
something else that can cause people to fantasize and aspire, as a technique for influencing/controlling people's behavior
it's the high sugar/fat low nutrition junk food equivalent for people's mind instead of their tastbuds - people ate food before, but fast food made junk food prevalent - hollywood made junk romance prevalent
I think it’s more of a narrative to idealize and pursue perfection in everything in an addictive fashion: the perfect life, the perfect partner, the perfect house, the perfect image and so on.
