I think this was the bigger issue for me: missing out on what my friends were doing. It was a pain (and still is) to make accommodations for the one or two people who aren't on a platform, just as it would annoy me to remember to include the one person on Zoom when I'd be in an in-person meeting with 15 people. Switching modalities can add just enough friction to mean the one not on the platform misses out.

Perhaps some wanted that, maybe even I did—conflicted in wanting freedom from it and also fearing the loss of it.

It's not nearly that severe. In cases where I don't understand some reference, it's often clear by context. If not, I say "what does that mean?"

I should have written “exclusively planned/conversed”. As in you simply will not know about outings or get togethers, and so you simply will not see them.