As usual with all these trite dating app articles - not a single heterosexual man is represented. It’s always the plight of gay men, straight women, and so forth. Often for these groups - they have abundant choice and are just unable to settle down with the idea they won’t get to date an Instagram model.
For most straight men - dating apps are a form of purgatory and Sisyphusian efforts. The difference is so starkly different compared to all of the other people I know who aren’t straight men. Only straight men I know who don’t have these issues tend to be incredibly physically attractive to the point where they’d have women come up to ask them out on dates everyday. (Unheard of for an average man)
My advice is to pickup activities where women are and that have a natural social element. There are almost none of these btw. Social dancing is about the only one that exists still. The rest of activities out there that are social and involve meeting new people are completely dominated by men. Just brutally so. Most women I know don’t go out to meet new people via social activities like dancing. They go to insular parties, hang out with core group of friends, or stay home and watch Netflix. Very few are truly outgoing and willing to take the leap and meet new people by themselves. I can count on maybe one hand all the women I’ve met who are like that - and I’ve met thousands.
My experience is very different. At least in Denver thousands of men and women move here every month, so coed sports adult sports leagues are filled with single women looking to make friends and meet partners.
Similarly, many comments have talked about bars not being a good place to meet single women. From my experience this also isn’t true. You don’t walk up to a girl alone at the bar like in the movies though - you’re friend group mingles with another friend group, and one person in that friend group is probably single. The process is way slower than immediately going and talking to the person you want to meet.
But, this is HN so our social skills level is probably one standard deviation lower than anywhere else.
Right but you’ve basically admitted to it though without saying that the whole situation is kinda fucked. Coed sport leagues are your one example. You’ve got going out to bars but you need an entire group of friends who want to approach women together. This strikes me as an experience that is mostly niche to your life and that’s about it.
Genuinely - with your experience and the way you advertise it as being incredibly slow - it sounds like you’ve met maybe a half dozen women this way and got lucky with a couple and ascribe this to a winning strategy.
I’m just saying - it’s not sounding great for meeting lots of women. It sounds like a good way to meet a dozen women and either get lucky or have incredibly low standards that allows you to pair up with 1 out of 12 women.
I guess experiences are very location dependent. This career path also makes things harder. Have you noticed how many cities who are known for being IT hubs end up with a huge young male surplus? That also makes things harder in real life. I don't know how it is in Denver.
First, nobody cares about random straight guys. This has been enshrined in the incredibly hostile phrase "dick is abundant and low value." Second, if they were forced to interview some random hetero chump, it would give the whole game away. The realization that this essentially rests on men's desire ("thirst," as the kids say) is too much to be borne.
The only real solution for enterprising men is to continue to do these social activities without an expectation of getting dates out of them. But you do make friends whose network could introduce you to many more people.
The last paragraph really resonates with me. I have been putting so much effort into trying to find the right activity. And literally yesterday I concluded that actually such an activity does not exist. Young women are not really out and about a lot in situations where one can easily approach them, and I guess they do not really need to.
For most straight men - dating apps are a form of purgatory and Sisyphusian efforts. The difference is so starkly different compared to all of the other people I know who aren’t straight men. Only straight men I know who don’t have these issues tend to be incredibly physically attractive to the point where they’d have women come up to ask them out on dates everyday. (Unheard of for an average man)
My advice is to pickup activities where women are and that have a natural social element. There are almost none of these btw. Social dancing is about the only one that exists still. The rest of activities out there that are social and involve meeting new people are completely dominated by men. Just brutally so. Most women I know don’t go out to meet new people via social activities like dancing. They go to insular parties, hang out with core group of friends, or stay home and watch Netflix. Very few are truly outgoing and willing to take the leap and meet new people by themselves. I can count on maybe one hand all the women I’ve met who are like that - and I’ve met thousands.