If this resonates with you, you might like Existentialism and Jean-Paul Sartes.
I'm reminded of a passage in Existentialism is a humanism where he posits that objects, like tables or tree, have innate purpose by their design being made for a task (yeah - more complex than that for natural things like trees but you get the gist), while humans simply are not born with innate purpose, as they have intent and can act upon themselves instead of comforming to the world.
While this might seem uncomfortable, this is to be seen as a gift - you are free of purpose, and therefore are to decide for yourself why to live. After all, while a table has it's rightful place, it also confines it.
And Camus famousky said that the only serious philosophical question is that of suicide - and I think that it's the only place to start when thinking about the rest of your life.
I'm reminded of a passage in Existentialism is a humanism where he posits that objects, like tables or tree, have innate purpose by their design being made for a task (yeah - more complex than that for natural things like trees but you get the gist), while humans simply are not born with innate purpose, as they have intent and can act upon themselves instead of comforming to the world.
While this might seem uncomfortable, this is to be seen as a gift - you are free of purpose, and therefore are to decide for yourself why to live. After all, while a table has it's rightful place, it also confines it.
And Camus famousky said that the only serious philosophical question is that of suicide - and I think that it's the only place to start when thinking about the rest of your life.