Your handling of the PHD situation sounds perfect and it seems like we're in agreement.
I want to reiterate you will never be in a situation where everyone is respectful even if it's a professional setting. You also can't control what other people do so there's no point expecting people to give criticism respectfully or trying to teach people how to do so - you can't correct someone's behavior if they don't want to change it.
Every time I catch myself wanting to say "people should act like xyz" I stop myself and think "I will react a different way when someone acts like xyz" instead if I'm not happy with how the situation went. Especially if I've already expressed my feelings and someone has ignored them and still acts in a way I don't like.
I think I misrepresented myself. I don't expect anything from anyone, in any setting, or I don't intend to change anyone. Who am I to expect to change someone?
I just wanted to say that, I behave the way which I want to be treated. I ask myself, "what would I feel if that's done to me", and if I don't like the answer, I change myself, and try to better myself step by step.
Actually "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz sums up pretty well how I live this life. It's a surprisingly thin yet dense book. I recommend it wholeheartedly.
Looks like we try to do the same things with slightly different methodologies. My hat's off to you dear sage internet stranger.
I want to reiterate you will never be in a situation where everyone is respectful even if it's a professional setting. You also can't control what other people do so there's no point expecting people to give criticism respectfully or trying to teach people how to do so - you can't correct someone's behavior if they don't want to change it.
Every time I catch myself wanting to say "people should act like xyz" I stop myself and think "I will react a different way when someone acts like xyz" instead if I'm not happy with how the situation went. Especially if I've already expressed my feelings and someone has ignored them and still acts in a way I don't like.