I think the problem is that you mention cocaine on your pricing page and then refuse to offer your customers any.

We tailor our plans for our Enterprise customers. To add cocaine to your subscription, please give us a call.

Does it come with a four nines purity SLA?

Nine fives.

Are you at least cutting it with something organic?

Our experienced customer success agent can answer that question in your annual call.

Great, now I have to talk to you?!

I want my dollar back

It's mine now!