Similarly, I weigh my financial situation through the lens of how many months I could last if I lost my job. The number isn't infinite, and so that anxiety still drives me regardless of the realities of how long a job search in our industry would actually last

I try to keep my cost of living relatively low for this reason. I’ll buy a nice thing or go on a trip here and there, but those things do not add recurring costs in my life. I _think_ if I were to lose my job, I could get a job at Costco or something and still make ends meet.

I’ve had a co-worker tell me I “live like a poor person.” He doesn’t know exactly what I make, but can assume I make more than him, due to our titles.

I thought once I paid my house off I’d be able to relax a little, but little has changed. I can just now last that much longer on a lower income of something were to happen. I also increased my savings rate, to keep extending that time out. But it’s all fear based. No amount will ever feel like enough.

I also tend to think like this and getting divorced hasn't helped. I was recently re-thinking it as if I needed to I could sell my house and then based on that plus savings I could manage a number of years with a rental property. That seemed to calm anxiety a little. A lot of the things that you worry about never come to pass, and the things that end up causing the most grief were never expected at all.

This is true. I guess I’m in a headspace where I’d rather prepare while I’m relatively healthy and can, because if something happens later it will be too late.

Many, many people have told me I should leave my job. However, I don’t want to cut my legs out from under me during what should be my best earning years.

I was getting better at not caring so much. Two co-workers dying, leading to a big change of heart in my boss at the time, made the job lower stress. But managements changes have increased the stress and disfunction to the highest level. I suppose the stress of staying is lower than the stress of the unknown.

Try not to spend too much time thinking about working. It is important, but for me it's definitely not THE MOST IMPORTANT. I value myself, kids, parents and friends above that and try to retain my own identity.

For most of my life that number has been 0. The past five years I’ve seen it slowly rise into double digits. The level of anxiety is still the same because I always go “but then what?”.

For quite a long time I’ve also considered my personal “runway” as the key metric in considering my financials. The number isn’t perfect because if I lost my job I’d make cuts elsewhere (so my runway is longer than I “think” it is) but it helps reduce my anxiety.

I love YNAB for this since I can fund future months easily.

Ugh, this is sticky af. I wonder why we tend to form such memories as a species, because it literally pulls you back to that shitty period for the rest of your life.