The past you mention was awful for women, because social dynamics meant their profiles were being hit with a constant DDOS. That in turn made demographics very skewed, which made the problem worse.
In fact I'd say being able to balance this gender imbalance is THE issue to solve for modern apps. Everything including monetization models is built around that.
Have you seen a woman using tinder? They absolutely have the ability to choose, almost every right swipe will be a match. Now they just have to give an ok before the pm notifications reaches them.
The current model is clearly preferred as tinder made dating apps mainstream.
As a gay dude who didn't experience it anyway, bumble did this (only the woman can message first otherwise men can't interact) and found that women eventually hated that as well. Obviously they just switch that whole feature off for us gay dudes.
In fact I'd say being able to balance this gender imbalance is THE issue to solve for modern apps. Everything including monetization models is built around that.