The first of which can be p90 solved by "Okay, type 'apt install dash capital why docker return,' tell me what happens...okay, and 'docker dash vee' says...great! Now..."

Probably takes a couple minutes, maybe less if you've got a good fast distro mirror nearby. More if you're trying to explain it to a biologist - love those folks, they do great work, incredible parties, not always at home in the digital domain.