Vague how? Your issue is that the major cloud providers can’t tell you where specifically your server is located? I don’t get it

Well... yea. A db is nice and all, but if you can't predictably host it somewhere where you can finely control the latency, you're gonna suffer.

with long-running TLS connections this really isn't an issue; turn keepalives on and the connection generally stays hot. grpc over TLS also means features like resumption / TLS ticketing also work.

i used to think this way, and then i tried it, and i have to admit it's pretty good.

think of all the complexity on the other side of running a stable multi-regional database: networking, disk failure, routing, caching. all of that is negated. so yes, there is some latency, but not as much as you think, and honestly, i'd make the trade again in a heartbeat.