The earlier commenter wrote that "her teammates pressured her".
While I don't know the particulars of this situation, it sure doesn't sound like they physically restrained her, forced open her mouth and poured alcohol down her throat, or anything that extreme.
It was probably just verbal encouragement to try something she apparently hadn't done before, delivered in a friendly, although perhaps overt, manner. This is pretty common within American culture, when facing somebody who hasn't indulged in something that most Americans have. They'll encourage you to try it, and if you resist, they'll still encourage you to try it.
Yes, somebody who isn't used to this aspect of American culture may consider it to be a form of "pressure". But the intent is probably good-natured, and it's more about helping somebody try new experiences rather than control.
Most of the Americans I've dealt with, especially in a work setting, would not truly force the consumption of alcohol on somebody else, of course. Explaining to them that you don't drink, for whatever reason, will very likely put the matter to rest quickly. They may still playfully poke fun at you because of it, but that's just part of American culture.
> They may still playfully poke fun at you because of it, but that's just part of American culture.
That isn't professional. As far as you know the person has had alcohol issues in her family and doesn't want to carry it into her work persona. Or she may believe in a religion that forbids it and doesn't want to be known for her religious views at work.
Drinking a shot when you deploy or explaining why you won't should not be a requirement for a job as a software engineer.
I very much doubt it was a "requirement" in any sense. My guess is that the co-worker from India totally misconstrued the situation, due to not having a good understanding of American culture.
I could easily see the dialog being quite friendly, and going something like:
American: "Hey, that was one hell of a deployment, but it's done now. Let's have a round of drinks, to celebrate!"
Indian: "No, I don't want to."
American: "Awww, why not?"
Indian: "I've never had alcohol before. I don't want to."
American: "Come on, try it, it's fun! We do this after every big deployment."
Indian: "No, thanks."
American: "Okay."
The American thought he was being friendly and inclusive, by encouraging the Indian to participate in a pretty common American celebratory custom. The American was somewhat more assertive than the Indian was expecting, like many friendly and outgoing Americans can be. The Indian misinterpreted this as "pressure". She tells her Indian friend. He lacks a good understanding of American culture, too, and misinterprets the American's behavior. He posts here, and we have this discussion.
Bullying is done out of malice. Encouraging somebody to enjoy a celebratory shot of alcohol after a big event is, in America, a show of friendship and camaraderie.
Yes, Americans can often be assertive, especially in a playful or friendly manner. That's part of American culture. As a foreigner, it's best to understand this.
I also note that your argument could be applied almost verbatim to women working in predominantly male environments. Or any other case where there's a minority surrounded by a entrenched majority. "It's just how things are" is not a satisfactory approach imho.
The thing about ingrained racism and sexism is that it's rarely done out of malice or in an obvious, "WHOA THATS RACIST/SEXIST MAN," way. It was bullying and a expression of power, whether or not the participants were aware of themselves enough to realize it.
What exactly is the difference between 'forced' and 'pressured' in your mind? The two words are practically synonymous.
It doesn't matter whether they physically held her down and poured it into her throat, or that they cajoled her over an extended period into doing it. Either way, she was forced into drinking. Peer pressure is just another way of forcing people to do things they don't want to.
I'm Irish. I'm fully familiar with that kind of drinking culture.
> Explaining to them that you don't drink, for whatever reason, will very likely put the matter to rest quickly.
If it was "forced", then she would have had absolutely no choice in the matter. It probably wasn't physical, as we've already determined. It likely didn't involve any sort of risk to her job outside of her control, as the original commenter clearly says, "She quit in her 3rd week."
It probably was the typical, purely-verbal, friendly coaxing that oft persistent Americans can engage in. That's what I'd consider "pressure". Aside from a brief and harmless verbal interaction, nobody is coerced into doing anything.
You may have to say "No" a few times, since they'll try to convince you to reconsider in a friendly manner. But they'll respect your decision soon enough.
It's really no different than going to a market in a developing nation, and having to fend off street vendors. They can be persistent, for sure, but there's absolutely no obligation to buy from them, and any interaction with them is almost always totally harmless.
I think this is "incident" is probably being misconstrued and totally blown out of proportion. Had she better understood American culture, and had she merely said, "No, thanks!" a few times, it would've been settled without any hard feelings.
The earlier commenter wrote that "her teammates pressured her".
While I don't know the particulars of this situation, it sure doesn't sound like they physically restrained her, forced open her mouth and poured alcohol down her throat, or anything that extreme.
It was probably just verbal encouragement to try something she apparently hadn't done before, delivered in a friendly, although perhaps overt, manner. This is pretty common within American culture, when facing somebody who hasn't indulged in something that most Americans have. They'll encourage you to try it, and if you resist, they'll still encourage you to try it.
Yes, somebody who isn't used to this aspect of American culture may consider it to be a form of "pressure". But the intent is probably good-natured, and it's more about helping somebody try new experiences rather than control.
Most of the Americans I've dealt with, especially in a work setting, would not truly force the consumption of alcohol on somebody else, of course. Explaining to them that you don't drink, for whatever reason, will very likely put the matter to rest quickly. They may still playfully poke fun at you because of it, but that's just part of American culture.