Ride road bike for at least 3 - 4 hours at moderate to just below time trial pace. This will exhaust you, normalize your hormones, improve your mood (high from endorphins), reduce your stress, and reduce your aggression levels (adrenalin) etc. Eat to recover and feel great for at least couple of days.
This is also better than indoor exercise because of the long sun and fresh air exposure.
I have been doing this (cycle every day) for 24 years now. And nothing else does it for me better than this.
+1 for going for a bike ride. It'd be nice to be able to go running, but it just doesn't do it for me. It's boring. On a bike, you're slightly removed from the world - going through it, but not plodding along connected to it. Also, you can go somewhere. It's not hard to do 50/60 k in a few hours, which means you can vary your route a lot more than running.
At the risk of painting myself in a negative light: I drink. I go out with friends, throw back some tasty cocktails/beer/Scotch/wine, and vent about my day/week/whatever.
Depending on my mood, I'll either be one-on-one/two/three with a few close friends and lay it all out, or go out with a larger group and just use the alcohol to take my mind off things.
I guess many might like to portray their lifestyle as exercising regularly, having deep and intellectual conversations while socializing (without alcohol, because it's a social lubricant), learning foreign languages, and snacking on carrots and brocolli with yogurt dip when they want to treat themselves.
...but I think most people would consider your lifestyle to be quite reasonable and balanced. :)
I play video games. Usually an hour or so is enough for the 'steam to get blown off', but sometimes I do get sucked in and lose track. I try not to play competitive multiplayer games when I'm riled up, as they can get me more riled up, but I love to pick up one of the 10s of unplayed critically acclaimed single player titles lying in my Steam (ironic?) library I got as part of some bundle. It really takes my mind off everything, and reminds me of the magic that software can create, and makes me want to get back to creating it.
Smokin da Ganja. ;) Usually I'm super overly focused and concentrated the whole week, like in Zombie mode. This helps to get back into the normal world. ;)
I lift weights. Used to listen to Death Metal. But mostly, I've learned that it's not really necessary. Just makes us feel powerful, recently started meditating with teh Headspace app and that works a lot better.
When I can't go to the gym, pullups are a good substitute and I highly recommend everyone get a pullup bar. I do a set or three every time I go to the bathroom and it helps clear my mind and restore my self-confidence.
Lifting weights works for me also. I used to go to gym intensively for 2 months, about 2-3 times a week. It also helped me with my tics, I felt relaxed even day after. The only negative is I was always hungry :)
I grew up in the 80's and got into Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth etc. I still love that music, and I can basically fall asleep to it. But I find that I'm just not angry enough to get into any new metal.
When I was about 16 my dad walked into my room and said, "No one's going to be listening to this garbage in 20 years. It's just noise." He wasn't upset or anything, he just couldn't hear any music in metal. Sorry dad, pretty sure you were wrong about that!
What is "unneccessary" about death metal? Fine if you don't like it any more, but I don't think there is anything wrong with listening to it. I can listen to music like that as background music, to get pumped up, and sometimes even when I'm trying to sleep.
But then again, I'm not the kind of person who adjusts my playlists according to my mood (sad, energized, happy, melancholic, ...).
Short term: I go take a walk. 45 minutes to an hour of brisk walking around the city in places where I don't have to stop much for cars.
Longer term: I'll just take a day off, email cow-orkers that I'm out that day, and go motorcycling in the mountains. I started doing this 25 years ago; having a hobby that has nothing to do with computers helps a lot. (I'm not a crazy rider, I wear all the safety gear, have a bike with ABS and so on).
Vacations: I like to go somewhere and read books for a week. I seldom get to have this kind of vacation, but it's my ideal one.
I sleep. Its going to sound really weird but over the years i have constructed this alternate reality. A whole universe over the years i have built up in my mind, and whenever i am angry, or depressed, i lie down on a bed, pretend i am in this alternate reality and it helps me relax and slip into a peaceful slumber :)
I was a bit surprised to read this, I've been running a story for nearly 20 years now. I greatly attribute this lingering bit of my childhood to my consistent ability to reliably detach from life's problems and enjoy my sleep.
When i was very young i would act out the stories to distract myself from fear of the dark at night before i slept. It had utility in college and high school because i sometimes got tied up in knots of regret if i thought too much at late late hours. In industry, it made a great way to force my brain away from stress and thoughts of work. I just pick up roughly where i left off and play out the story until i am asleep.
Wow. I always thought i was the only crazy one around . The reasons you mentioned are exactly the ones for which i have been running a story for so long (Not as long as you though, i started 5 years ago). I weave my personal frustrations, pain points and unfulfilled wishes into this universe and since i control that universe it helps me feel more in control of myself. Another very important aspect of this is that i am extremely hyper-active, and my brain is always, always thinking. Escaping into this world is the only way i know to shut out all the external thoughts and let me my brain loosen up a little.
I just had this dream where I was up in Syracuse and trying to catch this bus and things kept going wrong and when I finally got on the bus I argued with the driver and said I shouldn't have to pay and he kicked me off and then when I got on the next one it went to the wrong place.
In the middle of all this I was waking up and falling back asleep so I knew it was a dream and then I saw my kid running and thought I had to chase after him and some women said, "Just go do what you want" and instead of chasing after him I went and did what I wanted.
Home improvement and woodworking. It is a good change of pace, at work I shuffle bits and like to create new functionality (or improve the performance of existing software); but it isn't tangible. It is nice to look at a vanity or the like and know that you made it, and know what challenges there were along the way; whether it is something simple like getting the drawers to fit properly, a doing a bead on the inside of a flat panel door's frame, or something more complex a bow front. It is intellectually stimulating in a different way than software development.
Ride my motorcycle on the track. For 20 minutes every hour I get to think about nothing but what I'm doing at that moment. A day at the track resets my mind better than a week on vacation.
Bouldering and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu are great pass times for that. Not only to blow off some steam, but also it's possible to easily get in great shape if you hate running/gym as I do.
Depends on the mood, but it's either video games or working out. Generally video games work for me if I need to shut down for a while, without distractions. Working out helps re-adjust my mood, likely due to the endorphins and the feeling of accomplishment. My workout is quite broad, I like to kayak, hike, or simply lift weights. Whatever strikes me at the moment....
Intense exercise early in the day, before doing anything "real": Reduces the boiling point.
Playing music later in the day or when stuck. Electric guitar 12 bar power chord blues with amp set on raunch or viola aiming for tones of delicate beauty, depending on mood.
Exercise works well for me. I do Muay Thai (AKA Thai kickboxing) which is a high-energy, high-impact, quick, always-on-your-toes sort of sport. When I spar, I find myself in a state of psychological flow and that whatever was bothering me just melts away.
I run. I usually come back from a run with sticky code or business problems solved and things I need to write half written in my head. There is definitely something about being on my feet and out in the fresh air that allows my brain to sort stuff out.
Soak a dish towel, old t-shirt, or the like in water. Then wring it out over the bathtub, HARD. Wring it out hard, like you're wringing out blood from your enemies. Grunt while you are doing it.
I learned it years ago and teached it for a few years. Even if I don't practice as much as I should, the moves come back very naturally. An one-hour training makes me happy whatever are the circonstances.
It's very therapeutic. Oceans, rivers, streams or even waterfalls always relaxes me. I've lived near oceans all my life and have island hopped many beautiful places. I can't imagine not being near water.
I don't know what it is about water but I run along the lake Michigan shore. The sound of the water lapping against the wall or crashing onto the shore is a great stress reducer.
This is also better than indoor exercise because of the long sun and fresh air exposure.
I have been doing this (cycle every day) for 24 years now. And nothing else does it for me better than this.